Family Anger Issues and What You Can Do About It

July 12, 2019
Anna Jankowska, LCPC

By Anna Jankowska, MA, CEAP, SAP, LCPC

Anna Jankowska is a mental health, addiction, and substance abuse counselor with over 17 years of experience and has specialized training and skill in working with individuals, groups and communities to improve mental health outcomes. NPI number: 1598843526

There are plenty of people who struggle with anger management issues. They may have a short temper or be part of a dysfunctional family. Family gatherings may rarely happen because simple misunderstandings turn into heated arguments. You may be walking on egg shells with certain people because you never know what will set them off. But these circumstances don't have to be permanent. Family members don't have to distance themselves in order to avoid unnecessary arguments. Anger management classes exist for these reasons.

Identifying The Cause Of Your Anger

If you struggle to control your anger, try to pinpoint what exactly makes you angry. The next time you happen to be exploding with anger, focus specifically on what made you angry. What was it about the situation that made you angry and why? Think back to another time when you were unable to control your anger. Compare the two scenarios to see what they have in common. Were you getting angry at something that you found to be insulting or offensive? Was someone simply being an idiot and lacking common sense?

Having Help With Your Anger

Once you've identified what makes you angry, trying to explain your anger may end up triggering you. If that's the case, someone who's able to think more rationally can help figure out what triggers your anger. They may also be able to provide some suggestions on how to keep your anger under control. Even if it's a situation that can be avoided, you should know how to keep yourself from exploding with anger.

anger management issues

Breathing Techniques To Consider

One way of dealing with anger issues is meditation. Once you feel yourself starting to get angry, force yourself to focus on your breathing. Keep your breathing at a steady pace so that you're able to remain calm. Count down from ten if you have to. By the time you reach one, your anger should be completely defused. Not only will these techniques keep your anger under control, they'll also distract you from reacting to whatever has set you off.

It May Work, It May Not

Keep up these meditations and breathing techniques for the next few weeks in order to know how helpful it is to your anger management. Hopefully you may be starting to feel better and think more clearly now that you're not exploding at minor misunderstandings. Your family and friends may find you more pleasant to be around now that you're no longer flipping a switch without warning. But there is the unfortunate possibility of your anger completely taking over and any attempt to stay calm just goes out the window.

Getting Professional Help

If you're not able to manage your anger on your own, you could consider seeking help from a professional. Seeing a counselor and taking anger management classes will be able to help do a lot more than you can on your own. They'll be able to figure out the source of your angry outbursts (if you haven't already) and help you control your temper. They have the knowledge and experience to find a solution that'll work for you.

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